segunda-feira, 27 de março de 2017

A ler... e relembrar a cada dia...

If I want or need something,
I can always ask.
I have the right to ask. 
Asking is not selfish, unkind or narcissistic.
Asking can be an expression of love, too.
A way to connect through our vulnerability.
I don’t expect anyone else
to read my mind,
to magically know what I want, need or feel,
to automatically satisfy me,
without my having to speak up.
I won’t confuse love with mind-reading.
(This is a deep wound from childhood).
I can always ask.
Asking is not the same as demanding.
(No matter what we were taught).
In asking, I give the other person freedom
to provide what I want, or not.
To listen, or not. To take me seriously, or not.
To be empathic and loving, or to shame me for asking.
In asking, I discover the other person.
I get to know them more deeply.
In demanding, there is the threat of punishment.
In demanding, I make the other person my slave.
In asking, there is space.
Room for the yes and the no.
In asking, there is friendship, respect, trust.
And I don’t pretend to be a mind-reader myself!
I don't pretend that I can magically know
what someone else is feeling, wanting or needing.
Instead, I can ask them.
Respect them by asking them.
Or give them the space to speak up for themselves.
Either way, I can listen to their wishes.
Even if they trigger discomfort in me.
And I accept
that I may sometimes be stuck
in my own projections.
I am not a mind-reader.
So I never have to feel guilty
for not fully comprehending
someone else's experience.
However much I genuinely care.
And nobody else is a mind-reader.
So I don’t have to punish anyone,
or try to make them feel bad,
for not seeing me, knowing me, fulfilling me.
What a relief.
To be fully responsible
for my own happiness.
And to speak truth.
And to be fully open
to receiving it.
- Jeff Foster

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